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Secret Love



You say you love me,
but its that shhhh don’t tell anyone i love you, type of love me.
nobody knew you held my hand,
nobody knew you called me baby
nobody knew you loved me
nobody knew you wrote me letters spilling your so called heart out.
you tore me to p i e c e s and thought it was okay
you are right i won’t forget you better yet i let you help shape me who i am today
but my knight in shining armor has called me and has told me i am the princess he has been awaiting for.
the princess who really deserved to be treated like a queen
yes
my teardrops? sure you own them
my heart strings? you got them tied them around your pencils, pens, legs, fingers and the tip of your God damn tongue!
my pain? you created that, you helped build it up where i just couldn’t take it anymore
but you don’t have my pride, my self respect my dignity most importantly my happiness.
yeah you may say its over and you may never admit that you love me to anyone but baby the silence.. it speaks in volume.
you wanna hold me in your arms and rock me to sleep but then act like you don’t know me.
you lower your head and walk the other way
i remember when there where was a time where you couldn’t take your eyes off me,
where you would just stare and smile, tell me you love me.
what is your excuse now? why can’t you just love me?
the day you left me was the day i had been reconceived.
I felt free, I felt like a million pound weight had been lifted off me.
Baby I finally I felt like there is no reason to fight for something that i don’t mean a thing to
I finally noticed you wanted me to be that girl
that girl who would lay in bed with her eyes closed and not see the foolish games you would play
that girl who everyone wanted but only you could have no matter what you did
that girl who sat there and watched you play her
well baby i will never be that girl
i will be the girl who you will regret leaving
i will be the girl who you wish you never played
i will be the girl who WILL walk away.
I am that girl who has walked away.
Now try and tell me that you love me
I dare you

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like there’s no hope?
Have you ever felt broken hearted?
Have you ever looked over to the one you love so deeply to see them look at someone else the same way?
Have you ever tried so hard to forget but couldn’t?
Have you ever told someone your deepest thoughts?
Have you ever thought maybe things will get better?
Have you ever felt not good enough for the ones most important in your life?
Have you ever fell in love with someone who didn’t show a bit of love?
Have you ever looked into their eyes and know the feeling is mutual?
Have you ever sat in bed and cried because you cant just take it anymore?
Have you ever wanted to give up so bad but see a persons face and know you wont give up?
Have you ever been in a room full of happy people but feel so sad?
have you ever had that feeling where your chest has fallen to your waist? & it’s way too much to carry?
Have you ever smiled to avoid questions?
Have you ever thought you’d feel such a way where you couldn’t bare life itself, alone?
Most importantly have you ever thought you’d think deeply about such things?
Just sit and think:
I feel alone, torn, unappreciated, unwanted, but most importantly hurt. My heart sinks everytime someone asks me why can’t i just be happy? Well, i can pretend i am and feel so ugly inside. My heart breaks everytime I have to falsely smile to stop the questions. I’m trying thats all that matters right? Lets just say I’m trying. While I sit here in disbelief knowing I’ll never be good enough kills.

yanilavigne:

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Reblogged from yanilavigne

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Reblogged from makemestfu

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Reblogged from repulsivemaudlin-deactivated201

Reblogged from makemestfu

i here for you till the death of me. together or not. you ARE my all. 

i here for you till the death of me. together or not. you ARE my all. 

my weaknesses.

love over everything, destroyed my pride. my weakness. you gave up. maybe you were overwhelmed by the affection you weren’t so use to but i loved you like you asked. i tried to be my best at everything but then came the problems just life testing us if we were strong enough to survive this together. i’m still here waiting. i know those feelings haven’t gone away and they will soon again resurface. no rush. i know they will, but maybe then it will be too late. let all the fears go let OUR love conquer all. don’t be afraid. i don’t think if i were the “best” (like you said) we’d be here right now. your soul has flown away to another place where it cannot be found, its like if you cant feel a damn thing you just sit there numb to all the pain i’m feeling. telling me i’m yours one day to “we’re just friends” another. you taught me how to love then showed me that i shouldn’t have gave in so easily.